Dear, dear FM;
Let me begin this chain of letters with one that is written to a person that holds my heart in her tiny hands. Honestly, we are an accident of nature, two stories that were never supposed to intercross each other and yet here we are. Here I am in fact, so completely attached and in tune with a person who in black and white, I'd never dream of ever becoming friends with.
There's something here that clicks straight on, with no need for pretensions of filtration. You have seen me at my weakest, and I your's; and it's only made me that much more realizing of how rare our relationship is. You tell me the things that I'm too afraid to open my eyes to, and help me realize what I've been trying to suppress. You know me so well that frankly, sometimes it scares me. You read me like an open book, and all my embarrassing desires and motives come to light upon your reflection. But you also help me to be brave, to be true and to be exactly who I am by showing me how much you appreciate me for all that I am, even the grimy unpolished parts that I've been trying to hide
here comes what I have never been able to bring myself to tell you (which is surprising, as I've found myself incapable of shame & humility in your company). Even In the early stages of our friendship, I always considered you to be one my closest friends. But even then, I knew that I didn't matter as much to you as you did to me. It was a rather horrible fact to come across, my ego going through major fluctuations before settling on a resigned acceptance. But somewhere along the line we found that we needed each other, even if it was for the most selfish of reasons at first. And once that sank in, there was no way out. At the end of the day, I'm just glad that I can give you as much as you've given me for the past 3 years.
Everyday with you is an adventure. I've cried for you, stayed up nights worrying about you, prayed for you. I can't even explain this, the way I trust you so absolutely, that it seems unnatural to second guess. And what else is there left to say save for a promise to never take for granted all that you have given me.
Love, me.
