Letters #2

For AYGY,

a year ago, i made they both of us a promise. I promised that I would let you go where you had to go, and that I wouldn't hold it against you when you finally did. Today I can look at you in the eye and say that I have kept true to my word. Thank god that I have someone like you who understands that when the inevitable comes, it's better to turn away and swallow the lump in your throat than to have to slowly but surely progress to a point where we are too blinded by our own bitter disappointments to see each other clearly. It always felt as though you hid things from me. Were you trying to cushion my fall, or were you just trying to convince yourself that everything was okay? I'll never know. But you don't have to worry about these things, we did turn out alright. (I told you that we would, didn't I?) and although the evergrowing split in the seams of the stitches that used to keep you by my side is taking it's toll on this dried up little heart, when I see that you're right where you're meant to be, I find that i wouldn't have it any other way. Say what you may, but the both of us know that you were meant for more than me.

sometimes when I wake up in the young hours of a new day, I look at the skies coming to life and I remember you. I wish you were here with me. It spreads throughout my limbs and ends with a deadening thud, and I push you to the back of my mind like an afterthough and get on with my life. And even when I hear your voice, you remain that way. Time has worn away your flesh and bones and you- you have become a feeling that I can't find the words to explain.

There's more of you that I've created than that actually exists


Love, me.