nostalgia

Nightfall is the busiest time for brain activity. Reflection, analysis, conclusions. Whenever I find my thoughts clogging up and a sleepless night threatens to loom, all I have to do is put a freeze to all the chattering voices in my mind, and play my sleepy song in my head. Tinkering piano keys in the first few bars, my muscles unclench and the voices fall to rest. This song is from some anime soundtrack that my friend gave to me when I was 11, and I lost it when my old MP3 player died. Ever since then I've been searching for this song everywhere, adding comments on youtube in hope that someone would be able to come up with a lead for me, but I've come to no avail. So it's been about 4 years of playing this song in my head when I'm huddled up in my blankets and desperate for a bit of sleep. Jumping from section to section awkwardly to compensate for the bridges that have been lost in my memory. A huge portion of the foreign Japanese words exchanged with mmm and aaaahs. The dreamy strings and the bass undertone that somehow always managed to help me fall asleep.

And today, I was tidying up all my files and folders on my computer, getting rid of old unwanted junk, when I came across a file called "Weiann's Musix lol XD" (i am embracing my younger asian stereotype) and I found it, I found my sleepy song. It felt weird listening to it after years of only being able to play it over in my head, and there were some noted differences. The vocals of the version I played in my head was always darker, and there was an entire section that I'd forgotten. But it was my sleepy song. I don't know why I'm so happy, but I do know that I'll be sleeping well tonight