Fuzzy

I gave up after realizing that I'd read the same passage five times over without understanding a word of it. It was 12.30, half an hour in the new morning. I'd been at it for about 3 hours now. My shoulders were coiled up and my eyes were dry, i wondered how I was going to get up at six in a few hours time for school.

But the day manages to go on, as it always does.

Wrapped in the sheets is where my leaden limbs belong, face pressed against the cold side of the pillow. My eyesight is as bad as its ever going to be. Shapes deformed and lights a-flashing, the world seems so different from these unfocused eyes.

It's all going to be worth it, I promise myself.
It's all going to be worth it.
But god, some inspiration would be good right about now. It's so easy to forget what you were fighting for in the first place, when you've been bled bone dry. Maybe it's because this isn't enough to pull me through. But I won't give up. Today, I've seen what a little bit of motivation can do. Perhaps it came from the wrong source, one that I have sworn off, but it waa motivation all the same. So I will go on, if only in hopes of finding something that will never leave me hanging out to dry.